Liar Liar pants on fire....
First let me warn you don't google liar liar pants on fire and just click the first website on the page to find out the rest of the rhyme.....Yep it pulls up a dirty site that you cant click out of because it keeps resetting to the dirty site! Especially when your kids are sitting in the same room! Worst panic ever trying to close the dang thing down!
Anyhow so you can figure I am just NOT going to search the rest of that rhyme.
Liar, Liar.... Stupid liar. and yes I am talking about myself. I have realized as I get older that stupid white lies suck. It is so easy to say a little white lie or exaggeration (because yes that is a lie) that turns into a lie you tell yourself that turns into a lie that you really start to believe. Kinda crazy right!?!
Let me explain. One of my inner demons I struggle with is weight.....WOW SHOCKER RIGHT! It makes me do stupid things or believe stupid things or say stupid things. Well I got offended, then I complained about it, but then to validate my offence I created a bigger situation than what actually happened to validate why I was offended. Well I told the little white lie to someone then complained to my husband and then get even more offended by the lie.....THAT WASNT EVEN THE TRUTH. Tell me I am crazy but I know I am not the only who has done this. All the exaggeration of the truth to validate me being offended. Why do we need this validation. Why did the conversation come so easily out of my mouth.
As I told Darek I was so upset about myself about complaining to my friend and I did not even correct my exaggeration to him. And the feeling of guilt and total jerkiness built up farther and farther and made me feel more and more like the worst person on the planet. I was at a total stop (after the kids were in bed) and told Darek " I am sorry, and I feel like a total idiot, and I don't know why I even said it. That I was sorry for lieing to him (twice might I add), and I was at a total loss" I explained the original situation and that I did not even qualify to be upset with the original person. His response was amazing, "Weight has always been your demon."
I let something that has tormented me whole life sneak out of me so easily. And let me tell you as I have gotten older I really have learned to love myself. I love where I am in life I feel good in my cloths and in my skin but the old devil comes out and tricks me to believe that my worth is built on weight and that putting others down or telling white lies is going to make me feel better or look better. In reality is it brought me down, like run as fast as you can into a brick wall and get knocked out, bring me down. AND made me look like a total jerk to the person I complained to.
So here is my 2 sense from this story....which I will admit happened recently....which makes me admit I am still under-construction.
1. Lies...as little as they may be... WILL BRING YOU DOWN.
2. Lies...as little as they may be.... WILL NOT MAKE YOU LOOK BETTER.
Here is to being under-construction and trying to learn from my mistakes.
XOXO,
Big Fat Liar
First let me warn you don't google liar liar pants on fire and just click the first website on the page to find out the rest of the rhyme.....Yep it pulls up a dirty site that you cant click out of because it keeps resetting to the dirty site! Especially when your kids are sitting in the same room! Worst panic ever trying to close the dang thing down!
Anyhow so you can figure I am just NOT going to search the rest of that rhyme.
Liar, Liar.... Stupid liar. and yes I am talking about myself. I have realized as I get older that stupid white lies suck. It is so easy to say a little white lie or exaggeration (because yes that is a lie) that turns into a lie you tell yourself that turns into a lie that you really start to believe. Kinda crazy right!?!
Let me explain. One of my inner demons I struggle with is weight.....WOW SHOCKER RIGHT! It makes me do stupid things or believe stupid things or say stupid things. Well I got offended, then I complained about it, but then to validate my offence I created a bigger situation than what actually happened to validate why I was offended. Well I told the little white lie to someone then complained to my husband and then get even more offended by the lie.....THAT WASNT EVEN THE TRUTH. Tell me I am crazy but I know I am not the only who has done this. All the exaggeration of the truth to validate me being offended. Why do we need this validation. Why did the conversation come so easily out of my mouth.
As I told Darek I was so upset about myself about complaining to my friend and I did not even correct my exaggeration to him. And the feeling of guilt and total jerkiness built up farther and farther and made me feel more and more like the worst person on the planet. I was at a total stop (after the kids were in bed) and told Darek " I am sorry, and I feel like a total idiot, and I don't know why I even said it. That I was sorry for lieing to him (twice might I add), and I was at a total loss" I explained the original situation and that I did not even qualify to be upset with the original person. His response was amazing, "Weight has always been your demon."
I let something that has tormented me whole life sneak out of me so easily. And let me tell you as I have gotten older I really have learned to love myself. I love where I am in life I feel good in my cloths and in my skin but the old devil comes out and tricks me to believe that my worth is built on weight and that putting others down or telling white lies is going to make me feel better or look better. In reality is it brought me down, like run as fast as you can into a brick wall and get knocked out, bring me down. AND made me look like a total jerk to the person I complained to.
So here is my 2 sense from this story....which I will admit happened recently....which makes me admit I am still under-construction.
1. Lies...as little as they may be... WILL BRING YOU DOWN.
2. Lies...as little as they may be.... WILL NOT MAKE YOU LOOK BETTER.
Here is to being under-construction and trying to learn from my mistakes.
XOXO,
Big Fat Liar
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