That girl at the gym. You know her size 0. Tall. Maybe blond. Probably wearing Victoria Secrets pink workout pants and a sports bra...Maybe wearing shorts that are a little too short. Hair perfect (yep), make up on (what!) You don't know her but you know that she is a Prima Donna. She is judging your disheveled hair, your raggedy workout cloths, your tired eyes, your a-little-bit too large size. Sitting there talking to the other pretty perfect girl. They turned around and looked at you, they must think so poorly of you. You are not perfect
The perfect Mom. She sets up all they play dates. Her house is ALWAYS perfect. She leads every small group, participates in every program and event that you could dream of. Did you know that her and her spouse never fight. Did you know her kids always listen. Her hair is clean, her cloths are perfect and matching, she always looks just right not to much but definitely not the mess that I am. How can I have a play date when my kids never listen, they run screaming through the house that is covered in dishes, unfolded laundry, shoes on the floor. Your husband doesn't say anything but gets a little huffy that the house is a disaster. Not to mention the spilled milk that yes you just cried over, the yoga pants you wore yesterday are still on, and your hair is a raggedy mess... Who has time for makeup anyways! I could never be friends with that perfect Mom who has it all together.
That friend from back in the day that has life so together. College (check) Career (check). They have their life together. They have done the path how you are supposed to. Go to college right out of high school. Found their dream job and working it! What have you accomplished? Did you go to school? Yes, but it took forever to go back and what have you done with it? Who can compete with that? I can see the judgment in their eyes as they look at my life and say oh your just a stay at home mom. oh you have not done anything with your life huh?
The perfect girl, the perfect mom, the perfect life.... One day we will realize that everyone has their own struggles. Maybe the girls at the gym have worked months or years to get where they are. To be healthy, to beat addictions, to beat sickness, maybe they are looking at you with admiration for being there and being present. The perfect Mom is perfect at the 10 minute clean up right before friends come over. She leads and participates because she is lonely. She has cried over spilt milk. Has cried because she doesn't think people understand where she is, has she cried because she doesn't feel like she is good enough? Your friend from back in the day. She looks at you and sees a strong Mom who does anything for her kids and her husband. She longs for kids of her own. She longs for love like you have.
Judging others is really judging ourselves.
Stop judging others for the things that you think they have, then you can stop judging yourself. By looking at others with judgment we are saying they are better than us because (fill it in). All the judgment (for the girl at the gym, the perfect Mom, the friend) is saying you are not good enough. Their perfections, their imperfections are reflection of how you are not who/where you should be. Because they are skinny, wearing too small cloths, perfects hair= you are fat, you are sloppy, you are not where you should be. Because she has it all together, because she is miss do it all= you are not doing enough, you are a horrible Mom, you are not enough. She has her life together, she has it all, she is a hard worker=you do not have it together because you chose a different path, your job is not important, you are not important.
Your judgments can show reflections of the judgments you place on yourself. Stop shaming others and stop shaming yourself. Because you are worthy, you are perfect, you are important. The life you have chosen is important. The life you lead is important. If we stop looking at each other for what is wrong and take the time to see the good. Maybe we can see a little better in ourselves. Maybe that person you would judge will become your best friend, the person you need in your life at that moment, will become who you need them to be in that moment (friend, mentor, motivator).
Maybe YOU will become that person you need to be in that moment.
Love Always,
Beautiful
Todays soundtrack "I wish that I could be like the cool kids, 'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in." (Echosmith-Like The Cool Kids)
The perfect Mom. She sets up all they play dates. Her house is ALWAYS perfect. She leads every small group, participates in every program and event that you could dream of. Did you know that her and her spouse never fight. Did you know her kids always listen. Her hair is clean, her cloths are perfect and matching, she always looks just right not to much but definitely not the mess that I am. How can I have a play date when my kids never listen, they run screaming through the house that is covered in dishes, unfolded laundry, shoes on the floor. Your husband doesn't say anything but gets a little huffy that the house is a disaster. Not to mention the spilled milk that yes you just cried over, the yoga pants you wore yesterday are still on, and your hair is a raggedy mess... Who has time for makeup anyways! I could never be friends with that perfect Mom who has it all together.
That friend from back in the day that has life so together. College (check) Career (check). They have their life together. They have done the path how you are supposed to. Go to college right out of high school. Found their dream job and working it! What have you accomplished? Did you go to school? Yes, but it took forever to go back and what have you done with it? Who can compete with that? I can see the judgment in their eyes as they look at my life and say oh your just a stay at home mom. oh you have not done anything with your life huh?
The perfect girl, the perfect mom, the perfect life.... One day we will realize that everyone has their own struggles. Maybe the girls at the gym have worked months or years to get where they are. To be healthy, to beat addictions, to beat sickness, maybe they are looking at you with admiration for being there and being present. The perfect Mom is perfect at the 10 minute clean up right before friends come over. She leads and participates because she is lonely. She has cried over spilt milk. Has cried because she doesn't think people understand where she is, has she cried because she doesn't feel like she is good enough? Your friend from back in the day. She looks at you and sees a strong Mom who does anything for her kids and her husband. She longs for kids of her own. She longs for love like you have.
Judging others is really judging ourselves.
Stop judging others for the things that you think they have, then you can stop judging yourself. By looking at others with judgment we are saying they are better than us because (fill it in). All the judgment (for the girl at the gym, the perfect Mom, the friend) is saying you are not good enough. Their perfections, their imperfections are reflection of how you are not who/where you should be. Because they are skinny, wearing too small cloths, perfects hair= you are fat, you are sloppy, you are not where you should be. Because she has it all together, because she is miss do it all= you are not doing enough, you are a horrible Mom, you are not enough. She has her life together, she has it all, she is a hard worker=you do not have it together because you chose a different path, your job is not important, you are not important.
Your judgments can show reflections of the judgments you place on yourself. Stop shaming others and stop shaming yourself. Because you are worthy, you are perfect, you are important. The life you have chosen is important. The life you lead is important. If we stop looking at each other for what is wrong and take the time to see the good. Maybe we can see a little better in ourselves. Maybe that person you would judge will become your best friend, the person you need in your life at that moment, will become who you need them to be in that moment (friend, mentor, motivator).
Maybe YOU will become that person you need to be in that moment.
Love Always,
Beautiful
Todays soundtrack "I wish that I could be like the cool kids, 'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in." (Echosmith-Like The Cool Kids)
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