Bravely BeLI(e)VING

I don't know why, when it comes to the people who mean the most to me, I am at a total loss for words. Trying to write down how much someone means to me, how much they have impacted my life. How I could not see who I am today without having them in my life. THAT is hard! This is a special day. A day for the record books. The most amazing man in my life hits the big -3-0-! Thirty that's right ladies and gentlemen. My husband has officially hit the (hold for shock value) THIRTIES. But let me get a little real with you and say. DAMN 30 looks sexy! My husband always says I'm like wine you only get better with age...which I retort with yes I am...a boxed wine. But let me tell you my husband is more attractive now than he has ever been. But it goes beyond the physical. He is an amazing father and husband. He loves unconditionally. He is compassionate. He is a hard and good worker. He is dedicated. He is faithful. He IS the real deal. BUT.... He's taken so find your own. B...

Today I am not the person I once was. If you looked at my past would you believe the person I am today? There are things that we hold onto from our past because we think they define us. Holding onto the past can cripple us OR it can remind us of who we once were and how far we have come. I look at my past and see someone who has made mistakes, failures, embarrassing moments, horrible choices. I have felt defeat, loss, guilt, pain. We are not the choices we have made. I have hurt others, I have lied.   Let it go! Do not carry the burdens of your past. Release them and remember how they have helped you to change and become who you are. I remember…..I walked down the hallways as middle schooler thinking I was the coolest kid ever. Only to trip and fall flat on my face in front of all the cool 9 th graders, …embarrassments that strangled me through years of my early teens... I remember… As a Sophomore I gave into a peer pressure for a boy who didn’t love me. As teenagers w...

Did you ever think that first place would be the worst place for you to be? First place is normally the winner. The person you want to be. First place in the basketball tournament, cheer competition, 5k, marathon, first person to get a degree, a car, a career, a promotion, find the love of your life, the first person in line for the chocolate cake (or if you are my husband the newest game or game consol) 😊. First place is the winners circle. Everyone wants to be you and everyone wants to be around you. Did you ever think that first place sometimes can make you feel lost or alone. Think about the first person to hit puberty, first boy to have a voice change, or body changes. First girl to get a bra, period, growth spurt putting you taller than all the boys, first person to get achne, boyfriend, heart break, marriage, pregnancy, children. The thing you may not consider being in first place is having to go through the firsts alone without knowledge that what you are going through, all...

Somedays it seems like all you do is struggle. Struggle to control things that are outside of your control. Tonight was that night. Constant back and forth between the baby crying and just wanting to be held. And yelling at a 3 year old who had to be told ten times to pick up his toys, eat his dinner, not to hug his brother too tight around his neck, get on the phone and pay attention to Grandma and Grandpa, no you cannot have more to drink and stop stealing drinks or you are going to have an accident in your bed. Constant back and forth between two over tired and over excited children. And it's the one night Daddy actually goes out and gets to have Daddy time that this happens. I had the best laid plan. Made Mac and cheese for Aiden. Noodles and steamed carrots for Maximus. All ready to go while Aiden played at his friends house. It was going to be movie night and cuddle in Mommy and Daddies bed until they fell asleep night. That is one of my favorite times. Just relax and cud...