Bravely BeLI(e)VING

Did you ever think that first place would be the worst place for you to be? First place is normally the winner. The person you want to be. First place in the basketball tournament, cheer competition, 5k, marathon, first person to get a degree, a car, a career, a promotion, find the love of your life, the first person in line for the chocolate cake (or if you are my husband the newest game or game consol) 😊. First place is the winners circle. Everyone wants to be you and everyone wants to be around you. Did you ever think that first place sometimes can make you feel lost or alone. Think about the first person to hit puberty, first boy to have a voice change, or body changes. First girl to get a bra, period, growth spurt putting you taller than all the boys, first person to get achne, boyfriend, heart break, marriage, pregnancy, children. The thing you may not consider being in first place is having to go through the firsts alone without knowledge that what you are going through, all...

Somedays it seems like all you do is struggle. Struggle to control things that are outside of your control. Tonight was that night. Constant back and forth between the baby crying and just wanting to be held. And yelling at a 3 year old who had to be told ten times to pick up his toys, eat his dinner, not to hug his brother too tight around his neck, get on the phone and pay attention to Grandma and Grandpa, no you cannot have more to drink and stop stealing drinks or you are going to have an accident in your bed. Constant back and forth between two over tired and over excited children. And it's the one night Daddy actually goes out and gets to have Daddy time that this happens. I had the best laid plan. Made Mac and cheese for Aiden. Noodles and steamed carrots for Maximus. All ready to go while Aiden played at his friends house. It was going to be movie night and cuddle in Mommy and Daddies bed until they fell asleep night. That is one of my favorite times. Just relax and cud...

I had to share this, this morning. I haven't been on for while but I have not forgotten you guys! This quote says exactly what my feelings are this morning. You are strong, you are beautiful, you are the most beautiful you, you are today! Make everyday a reminder that you are enough, worthy, loved, beautiful simply because you are a child of God. He created you perfectly, no questions, hands down, perfection. Keep you eyes open for my next post. First to the race, in last place. Coming soon! Stay Beautiful.

Ever have that moment. When you feel fantastic. Your cloths fit perfect, your face (make-up or make-up free) looks great, your hair is shiny and smooth. Not a hair out of place. You feel amazing in your skin! You check yourself in the mirror and you feel BEAUTIFUL. You walk with confidence because today you did it right. Perfectly put together.   Picture time and you click, click, click...perfection...Or not!   Check out the picture you know the camera adds an extra 10 pounds (that you really didn't need), and realize you have makeup lines your face is ghostly, dress is wrinkled, hair static-y and a little too much oily shine (how can you even have static and oily at the same time!). Time to redo, and redo, and redo. Lean forward, suck it in. Remember those photo to do's. Bend slightly, head slightly down, don't giraffe your neck, head forward (man do I feel like a turtle). Don't concentrate on the fun of the moment but be a robot and be mechanical. ...

Today I change. Today is the beginning of a new beginning. Today is the day that I can say I can start new and refreshed. Today I can be the best me that I was meant to be A year has gone by and I have yet again turned another year older. Is there a pause button? Is there a way to stay 18, 22, 28? To stay young forever. Stop the ageing, stop the children from growing up, to stop the feeling like I am loosing my youth. In the past year life has been so altered. It is glorious and painful. It is humbling and cry worthy. In a year from this day in 2013 life has had miracles, it has tested me time and time again. The devil has tempted me, he has told me my faults, he has told me time and time again that I will not make it and that I am not good enough. But let me tell you the Lord has prevailed HE has lifted me and strengthen me. He has tested me too, yet I know that "Holy is the Lord God almighty!".  You wouldn't believe the year that has been so filled with stumb...

Such an inspiring message. "When you're all alone, by yourself. Do you like you?... You don't have to try so hard,  You don't have to give it all away... You don't have to bend until you break...You don't have to change a single thing." I love when people in the spot light (singers, actors, politicians) open up doors for girls to be ok with who they are. Telling them that they are perfect how they are and that they don't need to change to be liked and be loved.

That girl at the gym. You know her size 0. Tall. Maybe blond. Probably wearing Victoria Secrets pink workout pants and a sports bra...Maybe wearing shorts that are a little too short. Hair perfect (yep), make up on (what!) You don't know her but you know that she is a Prima Donna. She is judging your disheveled hair, your raggedy workout cloths, your tired eyes, your a-little-bit too large size. Sitting there talking to the other pretty perfect girl. They turned around and looked at you, they must think so poorly of you. You are not perfect The perfect Mom. She sets up all they play dates. Her house is ALWAYS perfect. She leads every small group, participates in every program and event that you could dream of. Did you know that her and her spouse never fight. Did you know her kids always listen. Her hair is clean, her cloths are perfect and matching, she always looks just right not to much but definitely not the mess that I am. How can I have a play date when ...